my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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