I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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