BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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