Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
this is an emotional support booty call
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Text me some of your sweat
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
