i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
