carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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