I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.