we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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