My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that