the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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