just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
