he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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