I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
why does every cop we meet know your name?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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