hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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