We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize