I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
