I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
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I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize