David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize