dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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