The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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