I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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