Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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