you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize