I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
