Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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