How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize