What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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