thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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