Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
