im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Houston, we have a blender
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
