I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You dont lie about slip and slides
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize