I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
