I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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