How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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