she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He shit in the fireplace
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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