omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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