Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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