Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I need to calm my uterus...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
