Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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