I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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