This gyro tastes like lonliness
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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