Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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