You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
