I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
