Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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