you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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