Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize