But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
