the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
