This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
