guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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