hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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