Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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