I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
