be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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