Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
