Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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