Kiss
Puke
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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