She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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