So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
