Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
