You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize